I've created a 12 step program so to speak for my personal deschooling.
discussed as if it was real life. Oddly enough, these are things I had no problem in my pre-children days. I did these things. So, when did they become horrible?
2. Connect with my children on their level. Once I stopped complaining it opened a lot of opportunities to connect. The past months have found me watching football and basketball, although for the longest Kevin Love and Kevin Hart were the same people to me. Also, I enjoyed being a spectator at my son's basketball games. Normally, it bores me to death. I make a point to sit in my daughter's ice skating lessons (I hate the cold). I've played a few Lego Marvel games. I even built my own mini figure at the Scouting for Bricks event. How can I expect my children to respect the things I like if I treat their interests as useless. On Tuesday, I went to Game Stop and bought my very own game in probably 30 years.
3. Stop micromanaging and TRUST. Yes, I am that parent constantly asking what are you doing and double checking what you have done, possibly redoing it if it doesn't meet my standards.
4. Stop making everything about me. See points 1-3.
5. Stop seeing 30 year old adults where children reside. When I see my children, I'm not content with the here and now. I'm projecting adult behaviors and thoughts on an 8 or 13 year old. I need to see who they are right now and rejoice in who they are becoming. Growth is a process and I can't rush progress.
6. See my children as individuals and NOT just extensions of myself. My husband reminded me the children are not me when I complained about their lack of interest in certain areas that I enjoy.
7. Stop trying to correct my shortcomings through my children. Sometimes we want a do-over and attempt to get it through our children. I see my weaknesses/weirdness in my children and so want to drum it out of them. I'm realizing that what I perceive as weaknesses are sometimes just part of my personality and need to be accepted. If I can accept them in me, I can accept them in my children.
8. Take personal responsibility for the mistakes I've made in home education. Owning up enables me to make honest self-assessments and strengthen our relationships as stated in points 1-7.
9. Use discernment when following home school/educational authors, bloggers, specialists, experts, etc. Everyone has the ideal plan; not every plan is for your family. You can't replicate in your home what works for another family.
10. Rejoice in the academic success of others without desiring to follow the exact formula for your children. There are so many home educators that I admire. Their children are doing such great things with Classical Conservations, school-at-home, and Charlotte Mason. But, it doesn't make what I do less. It means that they've found what works for their families. I use to run out and buy whatever curriculum or book suggested. Remember, you can't replicate in your home what works for another family.
11. Be true to yourself. Determine if it's important to care about what people think and the effect it will have on your life, family, and educational choices. You can't replicate in your home what works for another family.
12. Smile more, have fun! I've forgotten how to relax and have fun. Recently, I realized that I'm a real fun sponge. I can suck the fun out of every situation with my cynicism and seriousness.
13. Read, Research, and Reach Out. Make use of the wonderful classes, websites, Facebook groups, blogs, books, people, and other resources that exist. We need all the support and encouragement we can get. There's no need to reinvent the wheel or go it alone.